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by Wendy Betterini
Have you ever found yourself procrastinating on something you
didn't want to do? It's no
surprise that we want to avoid unpleasant
tasks or obligations, but procrastination can also infiltrate other
areas of our lives and stop us from doing things we really DO want to
do.
Most of us procrastinate to some degree, like putting off
housecleaning or errands, or avoiding that dreaded trip to the dentist
for a twice-yearly cleaning. But for some people, the procrastination
habit can grow to monstrous proportions so they eventually find
themselves locked into a cycle of fear paralysis.
I should know; I've procrastinated myself into financial disaster,
serious health issues, and chronic depression. It took a lot of
introspection before I understood what was holding me back, and I'd
like to share some insights that may help you take control of your
life again too.
There are many causes of procrastination, and it's helpful to
explore these in more detail to understand if they apply to you:
Perfectionism: Many people who procrastinate have a fear of
not doing something "perfectly". They constantly feel the
need to wait for the perfect time and the perfect circumstances to
take action. Sadly, that never happens, so they keep holding back,
waiting endlessly.
Fear of failure: People who procrastinate because of a fear
of failure feel safer dreaming about the great things they'll do
someday, but they avoid doing them now because they might fail. They
want to wait until they feel stronger and more capable before they
take action, but they don't stop to think that strength and capability
are developed by DOING, not thinking or dreaming.
Fear of success: As strange as it may seem, procrastination
may also be caused by a fear of success. Even though a person may
think he or she WANTS to be successful, they worry about the potential
burden(s) of success, the obligations, increased responsibility,
increased attention from others, and more. It feels safer to stay
behind the scenes, dreaming of success but never daring to achieve it.
Fear of the unknown: The unknown consequences of taking
action can often cause a person to hold back, because as dissatisfied
with their life as they may be, at least it's familiar. These people
often have the "one wrong move" syndrome, and they avoid
taking action because they fear it might be the wrong action, which
would cause more problems for them.
Low self-worth: A person who doesn't believe they deserve
happiness and success will usually avoid taking action to create it in
their lives. They'll remain locked in unpleasant circumstances, even
though they desperately wish they could get out of them.
Low self-confidence: Sometimes procrastination is caused by
a simple lack of confidence. A person may desire to change, and
believe they deserve a better life, but they hold back because they
doubt their ability to make lasting changes. Rather than try, they
simply accept the "fact" that they can't do anything about
it.
And more: the reasons above may or may not be the cause of your
procrastination. Only you know for sure what makes you procrastinate.
If none of the above strike a chord in you, take some time to figure
out what your fear and hesitation are based on. Write on a sheet of
paper, "I avoid taking action because . . ." and let your
thoughts flow freely. Don't censor yourself, and your subconscious
mind will likely spill the beans.
Once you understand why you're procrastinating, it's time to
develop a plan to help you break free. A successful plan will involve:
Addressing and altering your limiting beliefs: This will
take consistent effort on your part, and a willingness to challenge
your beliefs. For example, if you believe you don't deserve a better
life, you'll need to change that belief and convince yourself that you
are worthy of having the things you want.
Taking action: It's ironic that the "cure" for
procrastination is the very thing that causes the fear that creates
it! If you weren't afraid of taking action (for any reason), you
wouldn't procrastinate. In order to overcome procrastination, you need
to be willing to take action in spite of the fear. You need to build
up your courage and ignore those fear-ridden thoughts that try to stop
you.
Start small: The great thing about taking action is that it
builds your confidence bigger and stronger every time you do it. Even
tiny actions have the power to change everything. Most notably, you
suddenly realize that there is nothing to fear. Once you push through
that initial terror, you realize that you're still okay. This gives
you the courage to take another step forward, and another.
It's important to be firm, yet gentle with yourself through this
process. It's good to push yourself a little bit, but not to the point
that you backslide and give up completely. Listen to yourself and
begin to distinguish between your inner guidance and fearful thoughts.
The more you work at it, the clearer and easier it becomes.
Procrastination is a habit more than anything else, but it also
creates a destructive state of mind that can take on a life of its own
if it's not addressed.
The good news is, it is completely within YOUR control to take
charge of your behavior and stop letting fearful thoughts rule your
life
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