SelfhelpVision.com

Welcome to  Selfhelpvision.com. As the name implies, this website deals exclusively  with information on self-help, physical and mental health, spiritual growth and inspiration. I want to write for this website with a personal touch and add useful information on various subjects I have listed before. On the left side of the page you will see the most popular articles which I have selected based on the site statistics. On your right side you will see the most recent articles that I will be adding from time to time. Right now this column is blank because nothing has been written yet. But there are several old articles available at this website and if you want to browse through the archives, please use the horizontal menu at the top of this section or the site search in the right column. In the middle section of this page you will see my latest posts, which may be an article some inspiration material, poem or the review of a book. I would like to present here some ramblings of mine, hopefully with some restraint. It is indeed quite challenging for me to manage many websites simultaneously, make videos, answer the emails and update the information, besides taking care of my dog and going to the gym to keep my highly uncooperative body in shape, which is one reason why I have been neglecting this website for sometime. I hope this time I will stick with the plan and post new information here at least once or twice in a week if not more frequently. So let me begin with my first piece. Since I have just returned from a long wait at an auto dealer workshop to get my vehicle serviced, I would like to begin with an article on dealing with the problem of waiting.

5/18/2009

Strategies To Master Your Fears

I have written about fear in the past, but still believe that the problem is worth exploring from time to time. Fear is one of the most dominant emotions in our lives. I myself grew up as a fearful child. My fear was not about ghosts and goblins or dark places, but incurring the displeasure of my grandfather who was a disciplinarian. He was a perfection freak who kept a lizard like watch on us and monitored our actions like a cop on the prowl. The fact that he was a retired police officer with a conservative bent of mind made matters worse. It was only when I left my village for good and joined the college that I learned to face him without fear. The good news about our fears is that with effort they can be managed and controlled. Here are a few strategies to deal with your fears.

1. Be in the present and look at your fears rationally.
2. Do a reality check to see whether you are exaggerating your fears.
3. Practice mindfulness to understand how your fears arise and effect you.
4. Counter the inner talk that aggravates your fears.
5. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
6. Breath consciously to calm your nerves and control your thoughts and responses in fearful situations.
7. Ask for help if you think you need it.

5/16/2009

Internet And The Modern Day Asuras (Demons)

In this age of internet and social networking, we find people posting many disturbing and weird messages on the boards, ranging from the most wicked to the most vulgar. For example, if you browse through the messages that are posted on various message boards of Yahoo Finance or some social networking websites you will realize the extent of decadence and mental degradation that has set in our society. It looks our education system in various parts of the world as a whole has failed and we have lost our humanity, our values and dignity. It appears we are no more afraid of either God or the consequences of our own thoughts and actions. It is the age in which you can openly wish for the failure of someone's kidneys in the presence of society's role models and be applauded. Our sense of humor now seems to stem from our sense of wickedness and vulgar opportunism.

Information has become so cheap because of the internet that people do not think anymore that what they read is valuable or useful. Gone are the days when you had to buy books, wait for your turn in the libraries, subscribe to magazines and newspapers and trudge several miles to listen to someone's speech. Information was valuable then and you had some respect and admiration for the resources and the people from whom you obtained information. Today the situation is different. Many think they are doing a great service to the world by browsing through the information they find on the internet and they do not feel that those who provide them with the service deserve some appreciation.

With the emergence of interactive programs and applications that facilitate user particpation, the situation has become even worse. Internet gives people the power to remain anonymous and say whatever they want to say. The messages may come from anywhere in the world and so you have no clue who post them and from where.

Those who indulge in this cyber violence, do not care whether they are hurting someone or overstepping their limits. They may be decent people in society having friends and families, but the anonymity on the internet brings out the worst in them. They take out their anger against the world or against themselves by doing things which they would not normally do, such as  hacking into websites, launching massive cyber attacks, stalking people, stealing information, intercepting data, and indulging in vicious attacks just for the rush of adrenalin or to brag about their IT skills.

Our epics and ancient scriptures say that the demons usually fight by hiding behind the clouds or in disguise. They never fight a straight battle because they do not believe in honesty. They love to be cunningly deceptive and invisible. Those who post hurtful and insulting messages on the internet and indulge in destructive acts on the internet are modern day asuras. They fight anonymously and invisibly like the real asuras. They cause people great harm and enjoy doing so just as the asuras. They prove the point that in this dark age of our time cycle, the world will witness increasing number of evil people taking birth as humans and creating chaos.

If there is one thing that needs some regulation or oversight, it is the internet. Our virtual world is in a state of anarchy. It needs some governance at the international level before the world will face a serious crisis some day from irresponsible cyber groups, rouge nations and destructive elements who live amidst us but remain anonymous.

5/15/2009

Three Questions You Should Ask Yourself When You Spend Money.

Next time if you have to spend some money or incur some expenditure, ask yourself these three important questions. They can help you avoid impulsive buying and also bring common sense into your spending habits.

1. Is it necessary?
2. Is it reasonable?
3. Is there a better alternative?

Recession and Some Saving Tips For Car Owners

In this recession economy, where every penny counts, a car is both a necessity and a potential source of problem for those who have to manage tight budgets every month. The government of course wants us to spend money so that the economy will improve. Well, the government has something which we do not have: the treasury and the mint! So for ordinary folks like us, we have to devise ways and means to limit our expenditure and save for the rainy day. One important area where you can exercise some control and save money is your car. Here are some suggestions which I thought are worth following.

1. Car repairs. The first rule is if it is not broken, don't fix it. Do not be lured by the coupons and mail in rebates. Some of the auto shops print them just to attract new customers so that they can be eventually fleeced in a royal way. Some of these guys are extra smart. They know how to play with your fears and your ignorance.

Recently I went to a repair shop with a discount coupon they sent me by mail to get the brake pads of my vehicle replaced. They gave me a quotation that was 6 times the expected cost and with no mention of the discount in it! The gentlemen tried to explain to me in a very sophisticated way that I needed to replace both the front and back brake pads. Besides the rotors were supposedly worn out and needed an immediate replacement. After a prolonged discussion, I finally went to my regular dealer and got the pads replaced for much less.

For a greedy mechanic, every part in your car is a potential replacement. They do mention some measurements in their estimates to convince you that what they are saying is technically correct. But the information can be very subjective and difficult to prove either way. The point is, do not take any quotation from a repair shop for granted, unless you know them thoroughly. It is your car and your money. For regular servicing there is not much of a problem. But in case of major repairs or replacement of parts, keep your eyes and ears wide open and do some research before you make a decision. Now a days it is also good to do a Google search to see whether there are any complaints and pending cases against the shop you are about to visit.

2. Parking expenses. Unless you are going on some urgent work and have to leave behind the car for long, park your car in self-managed parking lots which are less expensive. These lots are usually self-regulated. You will have to usually put the parking fees into a sealed box having the slot number where you have parked your vehicle. These parking facilities charge much less than the regular ones. Safety is however a major concern. So decide according to your local situation.

3, Use free car washes. Most of the dealers are now a days providing free car wash facilities to their customers. If your dealer is providing one use it even if it is a little farther from your home.

4, Maintain the vehicle in good condition. Service the vehicle regularly.  It will save you money in the long run. Also Make sure that the tires are properly inflated, regularly rotated and the battery is in good condition.

5. Use reward cards and reward points. Some dealers issue reward cards for their customers offering several benefits if they service their vehicles with them on a regular basis. This can be a money saver. But  you need to pay attention to the dealer's reputation and whether there are any hidden costs. I mean you may get a free service, inspection, oil change and free car wash, but each time you visit them you may be asked to get done some extra repair or replacement which may or not may not be required.

6. Save on insurance. Insurance is a necessity but insurance costs are variable. Look for competitive rates from reputed companies who are known for their customer service. Cheap not necessarily is a good option, but you can always negotiate for a fair price.

7. Use public transport. If you live in a metropolitan area or if the place where you live has good public transport use it frequently. This will save you money as well as the hassle of driving through congested traffic.

8. Drive safely. Good driving habits save you both money and trouble. Avoid frequent breaking, tailgating and speed driving.

9. Save on rental cars. Book your rental cars well in advance. The rental car companies charge exorbitantly for last minute reservation, according to your level of desperation. Once I had to pay 3 times the usual charges for rental car in LA as I could not book it in time. Also make sure that your insurance policy covers the rental cars. Otherwise the insurance costs on the rental cars can be very expensive.

10. Do not change your cars frequently. You do not have to buy a new car once in every three or four years. Each time you buy a new car you incur immediate depreciation in its value.  Some people change their vehicles frequently for the sheer satisfaction of driving a brand new car. For me it looks an avoidable expenditure. Your auto loan bill is perhaps the second highest item in your monthly expenditure next only to your housing loan. So imagine the amount of money you can save each month, if you stick with your old car. Once your auto loan is paid off, you can put that money to some good use.

Saving even a little amount of money on the repairs for your car or cars will greatly help you manage your budget in this tough economy. There are certain expenses you cannot avoid. There are some expenses which you can totally avoid. Then there are some expenses which cannot be avoided but reduced. Next time when you go to your dealer or a repair shop, ask questions, seek information, cross verify and take an intelligent decision. Each time you visit, learn something about the parts, the types of repairs recommended and the information associated with them. If you do this regularly, over a period of time you will know about your vehicles and it will help you to negotiate even better terms.

5/14/2009

When you are waiting for something or someone.

People use different techniques to cope with the problem of waiting, such as talking to someone on phone, reading something, taking a nap, browsing the internet or just keep checking their watches impatiently from time to time with a knotted brow or anxious look. Some go to the restroom to freshen up. Some stare blankly into the space before them as if they are frozen into boredom or lost in a fairy land. 

While I do not have the actual statistics, I believe minimum 10% to 20% of our wakeful time goes into waiting at the airports, bus stops, hotels, restaurants, offices, lifts, traffic jams, theatres, hospitals, haircutting saloons, recreation spots and checkout places.   If not managed properly, waiting can cause a lot of stress to people who are already stressed by the demands of their professions, friends and family members. But with some creative ingenuity, you can use this time intelligently to relax and let your mind and body take some respite from the daily pressures of life. Here are a few suggestions in this regard.

1. Practice controlled breathing. For the time you are waiting, practice controlled breathing. Inhale and exhale slowly and let your mind and body relax. Change the breathing pattern from time to time and enjoy the peace that comes with it.

2. Practice contemplation. Focus on some aspect of your life, some problem that is bothering you in a quiet and detached way and let you mind explore it. Or simply close your eyes and let your mind wander off in whatever direction it would like to.

3. Practice concentration. Pick a spot or a painting in front of you and practice concentration, without straining your eyes. If there is nothing in front of you, pick up a magazine or a book and select a word, image or symbol to focus your mind.

4. Send out a peace prayer, wishing the welfare of everyone around you. Probably you would not think of doing this when you are in an office or a busy place. But it is in such places your selfless prayers work effectively. If you are in doubt, ask a Buddhist monk about peace prayers.

5. Do mild exercises. If the space and time allows and if you do not mind ruffling your make up or dress, you can stretch your muscles without drawing attention to yourself. The best parts to exercise on these occasions are the face, the neck, the hands and the feet.

6. Practice mindfulness. If you have time and want to put your mind to work, just sit there and practice mindfulness. Pay attention to your surroundings, the things and the people, the various sensations in your body and your thoughts.

The advantage of these techniques is at the end of the waiting period you will feel fresh and energized. You will pass on that fresh feeling to others or bring it into your work. You will make a better impression upon the people you are waiting to meet. Waiting is an inevitable part of our lives. For the most part it is usually a painful and stressful experience. But we can change it into an opportunity to relax and invigorate ourselves. If you are working from someone, you can make it into a paid leisure time.

Book Of The Week

Magnificent Mind at Any Age: Natural Ways to Unleash Your Brain's Maximum Potential (Hardcover) by Daniel G. Amen  A very useful book that explains how small injuries to the brain can alter human behavior and how the brain needs to be safeguarded and well nourished for achieving success and fulfillment in life through healthy diet, exercise, positive thinking, good habits and by avoiding toxic substances and harmful foods. The book also contains useful advice for parents on how to help their children develop their potentialitities.

Masters of Success: Proven Techniques for Achieving Success in Business and Life contains some proven techniques of success  based on the personal experiences of several well known authors and successful professionals from various fields. This book is a collection of useful articles and personal stories of these people. which are very precise and to the point. The information is well organized and covers many aspects of achieving success in both personal and professional areas. If you are looking for daily inspiration without the hassle of reading a whole book from the start to the end, this one is right for you. If you live in the USA you may probably find it in your local library and do not have to buy. But if you want to own a copy check the old and used section at Amazon.com for a bargain deal.

Video of the week

I have posted this new video of mine on success at Youtube.com. Check this link to watch it.